Sheila Young, My Friend

It was 1966 and I was a brand new freshman student at San Jose State. I was the first Black student in the history of Oakland’s (California) Rotary Club to receive a four year scholarship for college. I was assigned a mentor who was a white man in his late 40’s and a law professor at U.C. Berkeley. He also was assigned to send me a check every 14 days drawn on my scholarship funds. Once a month I sat down with this man for a one on one  meeting that was suspposed to last an hour. Most times the meeting was shorter. I was 18 at that time. This man dispised me. I could see the disgust on his face everytime I came to his office on the Berkeley campus after that long drive from San Jose. I had to stop and put oil in my 1954 Ford 3 times going and 3 time coming back. I would  keep a five gallon can of used bulk oil in my trunk.

It got harder and harder for me to get up the will to go see this “mentor”. He gave me absolutely no encouragement at all. He gave me no input about adjusting to college life. He gave me nothing but malevolence. I actually felt that he wanted to harm me if he could get away it. Eventually my checks stop arriving on time. This is why you need friends.

Sheila Young was a junior when I arrived at San Jose State. I met her when I was new Omega pledge. She lived with 3 other girls in a quite nice large apartment off campus. I was the oldest in my family and did not have a big sister.  Sheila I believe by Devine Intervention, became my big sister. When we talked she would tell me about what older women like in a man. Things like hygiene, clean underwear and shoes being shined. We were not a couple, she was my friend. She was kind, and very patient. She was not judgemental at all. Sheila came from a very prominent family. I know her Dad was a medical doctor and the family lived in the real expensive area of the Oakland hills called Piedmont. I had been elected student body vice-president in my senior year in high school and received two scholarships to attened college. Yet, I was a “hick” or a “goober” when I first hit the campus. I new nothing. Sheila with her patience, help my transition to confidence and to manhood.

When my mentor started to delay my scholarship money, I was having trouble paying my dorm fees and having food to eat. I didn’t tell anyone. One morning while in the bathroom at 8:00 AM, I passed out. When I regained consiousness it was 6:30 PM. I don’t know when was the last time I ate. I had about 50 or 60 cents in my jeans so I went walking. I stopped in a little Italian restaurant to get  maybe a soda. I didn’t know that Sheila worked there as a waitress. It wasn’t quite 7 PM and there was no customers yet. I had sat a one on the wooden tables. Sheila walked over and greeted me and I asked for a Coca Cola. Sheila point blank asked me when was the last time I ate. I told her I couldn’t remember. Sheila went back into the kitchen and brought the owner out to meet me, this 18 year old “hick” from Oakland. Sheila told her boss that I was her friend and that I was hungry. She explained that my scholarship money was late. Sheila asked her boss to feed me everyday as long as I needed and she would guarantee payment out of her wages. Her boss stopped dead in his tracks. He just gave Sheila a look of awe. He told Sheila that if I was her friend I was also his friend and there would be no charges for whatever I wanted and for as long as I needed. I actually ate there for the next 3 weeks everyday until a check finally arrived. By that time I was so far behind in bills I could not repay a cent to the owner. I told him my situation and he told me this is something he wanted to do for me and Sheila and forget payment.

Excuse me, but tears are coming down  my face as I write this blog. It has been over 40 years since that first year in college and I will never ever forget Sheila Young. She was my true mentor. Sheila graduated and became one the first editors with the fabulously successful Essence Magazine. I graduated and went into the corporate world. Sheila had moved to the East Coast right after college and I lost contact. A few years later Sheila died. Breast cancer took my sister away. I still cry today. There had to be over 1,000 people at her service in Oakland. She was loved.

For all of you that are involved with younger people that look up to you, be aware that your influence can last a lifetime for that person, good  or bad. The mentor that was assigned to me by the Rotary Club wanted to destroy me. The mentor that God sent me is still with me 43 years later.

Yours Truly

FoodSpook